字幕來源：網絡
后期：Lee.
1887年 中國紫禁城
我已經跟你說過了
我剛收到哥哥的來信
他在美國挺好的
他問候你 爹
你已經沒有哥哥了
有刺客 Boxers!
別再往前走了 Not one step further.
玉璽的看護人 The keeper of the Imperial Seal.
我要找的人 Just the man I was looking for.
一個女人 A woman.
你們中國人進步很快 You Chinese are very progressive.
這是老朋友給你的禮物 A gift from an old friend.
烏超 Wu Chow.
他讓我問候你 He wanted me to send his regards.
爸爸 Father!
爸爸 Father.
玉璽 你必須要奪回來 The seal. You must get it back.
我答應你 I promise.
把這個給你哥哥 Give this...to your brother.
你在看什么 What are you reading?
哦"羅伊·歐班納對決木乃伊" Oh. "Roy O'Bannon vs. The Mummy."
難以置信 It's incredible.
羅伊打敗了整個木乃伊軍隊和 Roy's just taken out the Mummy's entire army
蛇神聯盟的士兵 而他只有一顆子彈 of zombie confederate soldiers, and he only had one bullet.
不可能 That's impossible.
哦 不 可能 Oh, no, it's not.
羅伊想出了利用峽谷 Roy figured out the physics of the canyon
讓子彈在峽谷壁上反彈 and then ricocheted a bullet off the canyon wall.
打中了每個蛇神士兵的心臟 Nailed each zombie through the heart.
那個上海小子怎么樣了 What about the Shanghai Kid?
他在第10頁中被抓 He was captured and knocked out on page 10
當他擦羅伊槍柄上珍珠的時候 while he was polishing Roy's pearl handles.
你不用擔心 Don't you worry.
羅伊將把他從死亡中救出來 Roy's about to save him from becoming a human sacrifice.
那些故事都是騙人的 Those stories are all lies.
不 看這 No. See?
背面這寫了 It says right here on the back.
作者塞奇·麥考利斯特 他所有故事 "Author Sage McCallister bases all his stories
都是基于第一手資料 on firsthand accounts."
對不起 警官 沒有公主的信 Sorry, sheriff. No princess.
每天中午你都等她 Every day you meet the noon stage.
每天都一樣 Every day it's the same story.
她不會回來了 She's not coming back.
佩佩已經嫁到三番了 Pei Pei's married to her work in San Francisco.
時髦女人 Modern woman.
警官 你有包裹 Sheriff, you got a parcel.
嘿 說不定是她寄來的 Hey, maybe it's from her!
不 是我妹妹從中國寄來的 No. It's from my sister in China.
我知道 I know.
我知道 我必須要走了 I know. I must go.
在這給新長官做匹好馬 Stay here and be a good horsey for the new sheriff.
長官 那輛馬車朝東 Uh, sheriff, that stage is headed east.
中國不是在這西邊嗎 Isn't China kind of west of here?
我不回中國 我要去紐約 I'm not going to China. I'm going to New York.
羅伊用我的錢做了投資 Roy invested my money.
他真住在里茲大飯店頂上的閣樓里 Is it true that he lives in a penthouse at the top of the Ritz
無數美女圍著他 surrounded by dozens of beautiful women
被他呼來喚去 at his every beck and call?
那時以前的羅伊 That's the old Roy.
他已經結婚了 都安定下來了 He's married, settled down.
相信我 他已經變了 Trust me, he's changed.
那時候他們人比我們多 So there we were. Completely outnumbered.
他沒告訴我們沒機會嬴 He didn't have to tell me we didn't stand a chance.
所以我把那個上海小子和公主送到后面 So I send the Shanghai Kid and the princess out the back.
可憐的上海小子 他被嚇壞了 Poor Shanghai Kid. He was so frightened.
我救了他 可他卻沒有謝我 He forgot to thank me for saving his life.
我以前就是那樣 I'm used to that.
接著 我來到前面 我數到3 Now, I returned to the front, and I counted to three...
然后沖了出來 and I burst out of the mission.
槍柄上的珍珠在閃爍著 子彈亂飛 Pearl handles blazing. Lead flying everywhere.
可沒一顆打中我的 And not a single bullet touched me.
不可思議 呵 No! Yeah.
皇帝的金子呢 What happened to the emperor's gold?
我們把它分了 Well, we divided it up.
我堅持要把我的那份分給那些印第安人 I insisted on giving my share to the Indians.
那些野人 The savages?
請不要再叫那些高尚的人為野人 Please don't ever call those noble people savages.
如果你對自己的身體引以為豪 If being proud of your body
每天光著身子等著車接送會讓你變成野人 and wanting to ride around naked all day makes you a savage,
哦 天哪 你在和一個野人喝酒 then, by God, you're drinking with a savage.
那是你怎么叫法國吐司 And that is what you call a French toast.
你真狡猾 歐班納斯先生 You are so sophisticated, Mr. O'Bannon.
哇 Whoo!
誰去拿點香賓 Who's up for some more bubbly?
舉起手 羅伊 Reach for the sky, Roy.
再說一次 Say that again.
舉起手 羅伊 Reach for the sky, Roy.
姜文 Chon Wang!
你這個狡猾的小子 You sly son of a gun!
瞧瞧你 瞧瞧你 Look at you! Look at you!
你怎么來紐約了 我的那份黃金 What brings you to New York? My share of the gold.
讓我想想 什么黃金 Refresh my memory. What gold?
皇帝的金子 The emperor's gold.
好把 現在 那些金子在 Okay, now, that gold is in
華爾街做長線投資 what the Wall Street pros call a longterm investment.
我們不能用它 因為它還在賺錢 We can't touch it because it's building.
我今晚就要 I need it tonight.
你剛到 讓我們來慶祝一下 You just got here. Let's celebrate.
不 我沒時間了 No. I don't have time.
你剛到大城市來 我爸爸被殺了 You just got to the big city. My father's been killed.
姜 我 Chon, I'm...
你要錢回去辦葬禮 You need the money to get back for the funeral?
不 我要去英國 船今晚開 No. I must go to England. The ship leaves tonight.
你爸爸死在英國了 Your father died in England?
中國 我妹妹跟蹤兇手到了倫敦 China. My sister followed the murderer to London.
等一下 兇手 我有點懵了 Wait. Murderer. I'm a little bit mixed up.
讓我看看你是否能直截了當告訴我 Let me see if I can get the facts straight.
你有個妹妹 你從沒告訴我你有個妹妹 You have a sister? You never told me you had a sister.
她長得漂亮嗎 還是像你 誠實點 Is she pretty or does she look like you? Be honest.
羅伊 我要我的錢 Roy, I need my money!
我不喜歡你說話的語氣 I don't like that tone of voice.
你認為我偷了你的錢 You think after all we've been through I'd stiff you?
我很了解我自己 I'm doing pretty well for myself.
對 Yeah.
對不起 羅伊 沒什么 I'm sorry, Roy. That's okay.
你現在日子不好過 You're going through a really tough time right now.
你得學著相信別人 好嗎 You got to be more trusting of people, okay?
看著我 我是羅伊 Look at me. It's Roy.
5號桌的那對已經可以點菜了 The couple at table 5 is ready to order.
你在這工作 Do you work here?
不 我不在這工作 No, I don't work here.
看起來這些家伙穿的衣服跟我很象 It looks like these guys are wearing a similar jacket.
羅伊 這是你的小費 Roy, here's your cut of the tips.
這是最傻的事了 It's the craziest thing.
我想是因為我總來 I guess because I come in here so much
他們錯認為我是這的服務生 they're mistaking me for a waiter.
真令人尷尬 你把金子輸了 It's embarrassing. You lost the gold.
不是所有的 其余的在哪 Not all of it. Where's the rest?
我有句話要告訴你 飛艇股票 I have one word for you. Zeppelin.
我要我的錢 就現在 I need my money now!
放松 放松 Easy, easy.
你愿意為這些錢做任何事嗎 Will you do anything for this money?
是的 我今晚必須走 Yes. I must leave tonight.
好吧 拿著這鑰匙 Okay. Take this key.
到房間 洗個澡 Go to the room. Get cleaned up.
你的老友羅伊有個主意 Your old pal Roy's got a plan.
去吧 快 Go! Come on!
你好 大男孩 Howdy, big boy.
什么 What?
那有個女人 她想讓我跟她睡覺 There's a woman in there! She wants me to sleep with her.
她當然想 Of course she does.
我告訴她中國出名的不僅僅是 I told her the Great Wall ain't the only big thing
長城 coming out of China.
你為什么要那么說 因為你能拿到錢 Why did you say that? So you could get the money.
我不會為了錢和那個女人睡覺 I will not sleep with women for money!
為什么 Why?
我會為了錢和她睡覺 I'm gonna sleep with her for money.
姜 回去做你該做的事吧 Chon, just go in there and do your business
想想你在英國的妹妹 and think about your sister in England.
什么 羅伊 What? Roy!
職責所在 羅伊 Duty calls. Roy!
晚上好 市長先生 Good evening, Mr. Mayor.
他們在哪 Where are they?
誰 Who?
我的女兒 My daughters.
10樓 10th floor.
羅伊 羅伊 你有麻煩了 Roy? Roy, you got trouble.
羅伊 Roy!
我要去查點事 我馬上回來 I got to check on something. I'll be right back.
姜 新計劃 我們要走了 Chon, new plan. We got to go.
姜 你在干什么 Chon, what are you doing?!
我在給她治背 I'm fixing her back.
把她放下 你個廢物 Put her down, you decadent Philistine.
嘿 姜 快點 走吧 Hey, Chon, come on! Let's go!
拜拜 拜 Byebye. Bye.
快點 Come on!
我不明白 怎么了 I don't understand. What's going on?
沒時間解釋了 I don't have time to explain.
你要知道的是有壞人在跟著我們 All you have to know is there are bad men after us...
但我是好人 but I'm in the right.
羅伊 你要相信我 Roy. You gotta trust me on this.
好吧 看 Okay, look.
這是我生命中的變遷時期 I'm in a transitional phase in my life.
但是 但是什么 But... But what?
你要知道真相 You want to know the truth?
我現在有點失落 I'm a little lost right now.
我了解你 你有志向 I see you. You've got a sense of purpose.
但是看看我 我是個30歲的侍應生 男妓 But look at me. I'm a 30yearold waiter/gigolo.
有什么將來 Where's the future in that?
那計劃是什么 So what's the plan?
你一直是我的榜樣 姜 You were always my compass, Chon.
計劃 你問我正確的問題 The plan. You ask me the right questions.
計劃 The plan?
計劃 我想是找個合適的女人 The plan, I think, is to find the right woman.
生好多孩子然后教他們 Raise a lot of children and teach them values.
不 羅伊 離開這的計劃 No, Roy. The plan to get out of here.
好 計劃 有了 Okay, the plan. Here we go.
警察 警察 他們可以幫我們 Cops! Cops! They can help us.
不 不 姜 不是這些警察 No, no. Chon, not these cops.
這些是壞警察 他們向人們要好處 These are dirty cops. They take advantage of people.
現在 如果他們攔下我們 Now, if they stop us,
記著 我不是羅伊歐班納斯 remember, I'm not Roy O'Bannon.
你是誰 Who are you?
我是你朋友 從西部來的亡命之徒 I'm your friend Smoky Desperado from the West.
那我是誰 And who am l?
你 你是班尼哈那 You. You're Benihana.
班尼哈那 對 Benihana. Yeah.
你在這城市里教殘疾兒童逾迦 You teach crippled children yoga here in the city.
你先走 不 為什么是我 You go first. No! Why me?
因為你摻合進來了 好嗎 Because you blend in, okay?
現在 走 不要跟他們說再見 Now, go! Don't let them see you!
班尼哈那 Benihana.
嘿 嘿 Hey! Hey!
哦 Ooh.
姜 Psst! Chon!
快點 別浪費時間 Come on. Stop wasting time.
你 You!
姜 我找到離開這的票了 Chon, I found our ticket out of here.
我們起程了 We're on our way.
看起來想老的羅伊又回來了 Looks like old Roy came through again.
就象以前 姜 Just like old times, Chon.
查查這邊 Check over there!
那條巷子 那邊 Over to the alley! That way!
對 就象以前 Yeah, just like old times.
你能不能暫時不想金子 Will you forget about the gold for a second?
你將會有比你做夢還要多的錢 You're gonna have more money than you ever dreamed of
當把飛艇股票賣掉的時候 when that first zeppelin takes off.
為什么我總是相信你 Why do I always believe you?
你什么意思 What do you mean?
你應該慶幸我沒把錢投到 You're lucky I didn't invest
荒謬的汽車股票 in that ridiculous automobile idea.
對 那會賺很多錢 Yeah, that's gonna make a lot of money.
那是什么 What's that?
狗窩 我在狗窩里 Doghouse. I'm in the doghouse.
哦 快點 姜 Oh, come on, Chon.
對不起 我說了謊 Look, I'm sorry I lied.
我只是不想讓你失望 I just didn't want to disappoint you.
那就是我想要說的 That's exactly what I mean.
我忍受不了你那表情 I can't take that look.
我從我爸爸那學的 I learned it from my father.
他過去就這么看我 That's how he used to look at me.
你爸爸是干什么的 他是宮廷侍衛嗎 What did your dad do? Was he an lmperial Guard?
不 No.
更重要 Much more important.
他是玉璽的看護人 He was the keeper of the lmperial Seal.
那就是我喜歡中國的原因 That's what I love about China.
每個人的工作聽起來都很酷 Everybody's job description sounds so damn cool.
自從成吉思汗以后 The seal has been symbol of the emperor's power
玉璽象征皇帝的權力 since Genghis Khan.
是一代代傳下來的 It has been passed down from one emperor to another.
我們家族已經保管了12代了 My family have been watching over it for 12 generations.
12代 12 generations?
我和爸爸曾經一起討論國家大事 My father and I used to skip stones across the moat
說有天我會繼承他的事業 and talk about a day I would follow his footsteps.
我是他唯一的兒子 I was his only son.
如果當時我在 我就可以保護他了 If I'd have been there, I could have protected him.
不是你的錯 你在3000英里以外 It's not your fault. You were 3,000 miles away.
那小盒子是什么 What's with that little box?
我妹妹寄給我的 爸爸轉交給我的 My sister sent it to me from my father.
里面有個消息 說什么 There's a message inside. What's it say?
是個難題箱 我不知道怎么他開它 It's a puzzle box. I don't know how to open yet.
什么意思 What do you mean?
拿個錘子砸爛它 你就可以知道里面說什么了 Get a hammer and smash it open so you can see what it says.
我必須要有耐性 I must have patience.
到我可以打開它的時候 By the time I'm able to open it...
我就可以看那個消息了 I will be ready to read the message.
快點 頑固 Come on, Confucius.
那是我所聽過的事中最土的一個了 That's the corniest thing I've ever heard.
讓我看看這個 Let me see this.
你知道嗎 You know what?
我們要去英國 We're gonna go to England.
我們要找到殺你爸爸的兇手 We're gonna find your dad's killer.
我們要把玉璽奪回來 We're gonna get that seal back.
不會有任何獎勵的 羅伊 There's no reward for this, Roy.
我說過要獎勵了嗎 Who said anything about a reward?
我在說友誼 忠誠 榮譽 I'm talking about friendship, loyalty, honor.
好嗎 Okay?
謝謝 羅伊 Thank you, Roy.
我聽說英國是個溫柔鄉 And I hear England is ass soup.
有很多美女 A lot of pretty girls there.
第一個有請 First order of business, my Lords...
是一份報告 我們尊敬的朋友雷斯本大人 is a report from our esteemed friend Lord Rathbone...
他最近剛從中國的 一個外交任務中回來 who recently returned from a diplomatic mission to China.
各位同僚 Fellow Lords...
我恐怕從東方帶回來一個 令人困擾的消息 I'm afraid I bring disturbing news from the Orient.
鴉片戰爭已經蹂躪了大地 The opium wars have ravaged the land.
皇帝的敵人也已經組織起來了 The emperor's enemies are organizing.
最狠毒的就是刺客 The most vicious are the Boxers.
一群無神論的叛亂者殺人不眨眼 A godless band of rebels who murder without discretion.
中國已陷入困境 China is not well.
我帶回來了一個特使 他將帶給我們一些 I have brought back an envoy who should give us some insight
對中國無法預測精神的洞察力 into the inscrutable mind of the Chinese.
他瘋了嗎 Is he mad?
皇帝給了維多利亞女皇最高權威 Given to Her Majesty Queen Victoria by the emperor
為她在位顯赫的50年以做酬答 in recognition of her 50 glorious years on the throne.
蠻橫的家伙 Outrageousness!
女皇萬歲 Long live the queen.
杰克和職業殺手再次對決 Jack the Ripper strikes again!
號外 號外 看看吧 Extra! Extra! Read all about it.
你好 伙計 Howdy, partner.
英國人不友善 The English are not very friendly.
他們只是痛恨失敗者 They're just sore losers.
他們輸了什么 What did they lose?
一件小事叫美國革命 姜 A little thing called the American Revolution, Chon.
從沒聽過 Never heard of it.
我會告訴你些精彩的部份 I'll give you the highlights.
他們去了大概100萬人 They came over with about a million men.
我們只有一群農民那著干草叉 We had a bunch of farmers with pitchforks
象打鼓似的把他們打敗了 and beat 'em like a drum.
嘿 我在這走著呢 Hey! I'm walking here!
你走錯了 You're driving on the wrong side of the road!
一群業余的家伙 這些人根本不懂 Bunch of amateurs. These people don't get it.
你好呀 女士們 Hello, ladies.
瞧瞧你 Look at you.
什么 難道我不能看漂亮小姐嗎 What? I'm not supposed to notice a pretty lady?
我以為你想安頓下來 有個家庭 I thought you wanted to settle down and have a family.
我是這么想 姜 我希望我能 I do, Chon. I just hope I can.
為什么不能 Why not?
有時我擔心 Sometimes I worry that all the damn horseback riding
我在西部騎馬 I did out in the West,
在那個硬馬鞍上跳上跳下可能 bouncing up and down on the hard saddles might have made it
使我的三文魚不再逆流而上 象它們應該的那樣 so my salmon don't swim upstream the way they're supposed to.
什么 What?
哦 我在對牛彈琴 I might be shooting blanks.
哦 Oh.
什么也別說 Don't say anything.
羅伊 沒事 Roy, it's okay.
有些人不想有個家庭 Some people are not meant to have a family.
我和孩子一直有個特殊的關系 I've always had such a special connection with children.
那些跟在你后面的小騙子 The little ankle biters.
嘿 看著點 小鬼 Hey, watch it, you little punk!
對不起 先生 Pardon me, guv.
你們迷路了嗎 You gents lost your way?
是的 我們在找我妹妹 Yeah. We're looking for my sister.
她住在牛津街32號 She's staying at 32 Oxford Street.
我對那很熟 我和一個老頭曾經住那 I know it well, guv. Me old man used to live there.
能告訴我們怎么去嗎 Can you show us the way?
記不清了 Well, memory's a little dodgy.
但我確定我能帶你們去 But I'm sure for a bob I could get you there.
你想從我們這得到什么 以為我們是鄉巴佬 What do you take us for? Okies from Muskogee?
到別處去賣你那些廢話吧 Go sell your bullshit someplace else.
我們不要 We're not buying.
謝謝你的小費 先生 Thanks for the tip, guv.
嘿 你偷了我叔叔的表 Hey! I stole that watch from my uncle!
什么 What?
這邊 This way.
過來 你這個小乞丐 Come here, you little rubbish eater!
我告訴過你偷我們的草皮 有什么后果 查里 What did I tell you about poaching on our turf, Charlie?
老實說 我什么都沒干 I'm on the straight and narrow. Honest.
那這是什么 What's this, then?
我打你以后 After I'm through beating you...
你會希望你從沒從倉庫里跑出來 you're gonna wish you never ran away from the workhouse!
放了那孩子 Leave the boy alone.
該死的觀光客 離開這 Bloody tourists! Get your noses out of it!
你可以對那孩子做任何事 Do whatever you want to the kid...
但那是我的表 but that's my watch.
我們人比你們多 Well, there's a load of us and only two of you.
滾 So piss off!
放松 伙計 你說錯了一個字 Easy, fellas. You've lost one war this way.
別再犯同樣的錯 Don't make the same mistake twice.
快點 追他 Come on! After him!
嘿 Hey!
在那呢 抓住他 There he is! Get him!
我們抓到他了 快 梯子 We've got him now. Move in, lads.
孩子 孩子 等等 Boys, boys, wait, wait!
快點 抓住他 Come on! Get him!
該死的梯子上面 Up the bloody ladder!
嘿 嘿 Hey! Hey!
哦 小心 Oh! Watch it!
嘿 Hey.
啊 Ah!
你過來 Come here, you!
酷 Cool.
快點 Move it!
你 You!
你看見了嗎 Did you see that?
沒事了 It's okay.
沒事了 Okay?!
我管那個叫宮爆雞丁 I call that one my kung pao chicken.
我攔下了那個混蛋 I clotheslined the sucker.
快走 Come on, get back!
清除 Clear away!
讓開 Make way!
我想你們應該配合我到院子里去 I think you gentlemen should accompany me back to the yard.
這不是院子 是監獄 This isn't a yard! It's a jail!
羅伊 冷靜點 Roy, calm down.
難以置信 Unbelievable.
等一下 有人來了 Wait! Someone's coming!
讓我來處理 讓我來吧 Let me handle this. I'm gonna handle it.
英國人不像你 The English aren't like you.
他們沒有感情的 很容易發火 They don't get all emotional. Touchyfeely.
幫我個忙 Do me a favor.
你打 我說 Park the kung fu. Let me do the talking.
過來 讓我給你個擁抱 Come here. Let me give you a hug.
哦 Ooh!
我跟了艦隊街那幫家伙兩年了 I've been after that Fleet Street gang for two years.
你們倆把他們全打到了 Then you two come along and bring them down
在一個下午之間 天才 in a single afternoon. Brilliant!
現在 恩 Now, um...
哦 那是我的表 Oh, that's my watch!
是的 一個街市小孩送來的 Yes. A street urchin turned it in.
那小鬼最好別把表弄花了 The little punk better not have scuffed it.
我希望你的運氣是揀的 你說什么 I hope your luck picks up. What do you mean?
我從你的表推斷出你被打了一拳 I deduced from your watch that you'd hit a rough patch.
是的 你怎么知道 He has. How do you know?
是我研究的一種新調查技巧 It's an investigative technique I've developed.
我可以從一個個體推斷出內在細節 I can deduce intimate details about an individual
通過一個精密的審查 他們的隨身物品 through a close scrutiny of their personal effects.
還能說出別的什么 What else can you tell?
這個表的主人是個賭鬼 The owner of this watch is a bad gambler
還是個惡心的人 and a lousy shot.
盡管他死里逃生好幾次 Although he's cheated death several times...
他花了他生命中大部份時間 徘徊在一個寧愿可悲的 he spends most of his life wandering in a rather pathetic
和無用的調查 為了某種目的和尊敬 and futile search for purpose and respect.
哦 對了 Oh, yes.
他有放縱女人的傾向 He has a penchant for loose women.
哇 不可思議 Wow. That's amazing.
我肯定那是個很流行的聚會騙術 I'm sure it's a very popular party trick
在生日會上騙孩子用的 at birthdays for small children...
但對成年人不起作用 but it doesn't quite play with adults.
直說吧 Just to set the record straight.
羅伊·歐班納 不會吸引那些放縱的女人 Roy O'Bannon is not attracted to loose women.
那些放縱的女人吸引我 Loose women are attracted to me.
你是羅伊·歐班納 對 You're Roy O'Bannon? Yeah.
那個著名的西部民間英雄 The famous Western folk hero?
你聽說過我 Have you heard of me?
我聽說過你 Have I heard of you?
我讀過"羅伊·歐班納對決木乃伊"5遍 I've only read "Roy O'Bannon vs. The Mummy" five times.
令人著魔 It's fascinating.
我想你見見那個上海孩子 I want you to meet the Shanghai Kid.
哦 是的 Oh, yes.
忠實的中國伙伴 The faithful Chinese sidekick.
我不是伙伴 那些故事都是騙人的 I'm not a sidekick. Those stories are all lies.
行了 不要那樣 Come on, don't be bitter.
我不能左右塞奇麥考利斯特寫什么 I can't help what Sage McCallister writes.
如果需要幫忙 我隨時效勞 If there's anything I can do, I'm at your service.
我們在找我妹妹 她住在這個地址 We're looking for my sister. She's staying at this address.
能帶我們去嗎 Can you take us there?
哦 親愛的 Oh, dear.
我認為你們最好和我來一下 I think you'd better come with me.
玲 Lin.
文 Wang.
如果你不介意 我在外面等 If you don't mind, I'll just wait outside.
為我介紹一下 lntroduce me.
哦 這是玲 我妹妹 Oh. This is Lin, my baby sister.
羅伊·歐班納 Roy O'Bannon.
很榮幸 Pleasure.
你從沒告訴我你妹妹是這么一個 You never told me your sister was such a...
美麗的蓮花 beautiful lotus blossom.
她說什么 What'd she say?
不 不 不 No, no, no.
不要用你們母語談論我 No talking about me in your native tongue.
你怎么在監獄 Why are you in jail?
我跟蹤殺爸爸的兇手 I followed the man who murdered Father.
然后呢 And?
我查到他住在哪 I found out where he live.
我偷偷的進了他的屋子想殺了他 I snuck inside his house and tried to kill him.
查殺爸爸的兇手是我的事 It's my duty to find Father's killer.
不 是我的 答應爸爸的那個是我 No, it is mine! I'm the one who promised Father.
但我才是他兒子 But I'm his only son.
當你為了美國拋棄了我們 When you abandoned us for America...
爸爸說他沒有兒子了 Father said he had no son.
什么 What?
哦 時間到了 Whoa. Time out.
時間到了 過來 Time out. Come here.
那個偵探是我的擁護者 The detective's a fan.
我們為什么不打名人牌 Why don't I play the celebrity card?
我們把她弄出去 We'll get her out that way.
好嗎 好吧 Okay? Okay.
別擔心 我會救你出去 Don't worry. I'll get you out.
什么事都會好的 Everything's gonna be okay.
事實上 我要給你我的幸運撲克牌 In fact, I'm gonna give you my goodluck playing cards.
不要理會那些裸體女人 Just ignore the naked ladies.
文 Wang!
你打開爸爸那個盒子了嗎 Have you opened Father's box?
還沒有 Not yet.
他試圖暗殺雷斯本大人 She tried to assassinate Lord Rathbone
當時他正在喝下午茶 whilst he was taking afternoon tea.
他是排在第10位的君主 He's 10th in line to the throne...
女皇最喜歡的表弟 Her Majesty's favorite cousin...
而且還是英國最好的劍客 and the finest swordsman in England.
當然 新聞說今天有比賽 So, of course, the press had a field day.
這件事把杰克和職業殺手擠掉 當了頭條 The story actually knocked Jack the Ripper off the front page.
玲不是殺手 Artie, Lin is not a killer.
她只是非常 非常 非常惹火 She's just a really, really, really hot...
愛惹麻煩的中國女孩 confused Chinese girl.
大概如果我同意簽幾個親筆簽名 Maybe if I agreed to sign a few autographs
和我的一些英國的擁護者聊聊天 and talk to some of my fans here in England...
搞點慈善活動 那樣我們能把她帶出去嗎 do some type of charity event, can we get her out that way?
恐怕那不是問題關鍵 I'm afraid that's out of the question.
我妹妹會怎么樣 What will happen to my sister?
她要上法庭 可能會被關起來 She'll go to trial, probably be locked away
因為是刑事罪 in an institution for the criminally insane.
一些小報已經管她叫"瘋狂玲" The tabloids have already dubbed her "Loony Lin."
我想那很容易被人記住 I thought it was rather catchy.
當時 At the time.
如果我們被發現在一起 Do you have any notion what would happen
你有什么想法 if we were to be seen together?
自從你回來 我還沒見到玉璽呢 Since your return, I have yet to lay eyes on the lmperial Seal.
我明天會在鄉下別墅 舉辦一個50年慶典舞會 I'm hosting a jubilee ball at my country estate tomorrow.
午夜 Be at the stables at midnight.
依照請求 我尊貴的象征 As requested, a token of my esteem.
在這下車 This is where you get out.
我希望我們之間將會有更多的信任 I hope there will be more trust between us
當我是皇帝 你是新國王的時候 when I'm emperor and you are the new king.
哇 白金漢宮 看那 姜 Wow. Buckingham Palace. Look at that, Chon.
那是女皇住的地方 That's where the queen lives.
嘿 看這家伙 Hey, look at this guy.
他是皇家衛兵 他有很重要的工作 He's a royal guard. He has a very important job.
我以前也象他一樣 I used to be just like him.
不 他們一點都不象你 No, they're nothing like you.
他們是旅游勝地 They're a tourist attraction.
你可以沖他們做鬼臉 侮辱他們 You can make faces at them, insult them...
可是他們卻不能動 and they can't move a muscle.
看這個 羅伊 Here. Watch this. Roy...
不 沒事 No, it's okay.
嘿 兄弟 你鞋帶開了 Hey, buddy, your shoes are untied.
這是我見過的最大的海貍 That is the biggest damn beaver I have ever seen.
羅伊 停下來吧 Roy, stop it.
女皇 The queen!
看 是女皇 Look! The queen!
她在向我們揮手 She's mooning us!
他差點就信了 He almost went for that.
我和我朋友剛從美國來 My friend and I just came over from America.
你可能聽說過 我們要侵略你們這個小國家 You might have heard of it. We run your jerkwater country.
快點 你能接受從殖民地來的挑戰嗎 Come on, you gonna take that from a colonial?
羅伊 停下來 Roy, stop it.
我打賭你是個該死的紙人 I bet you are one hell of a damn poker player.
沒有痛苦的感覺 No hard feelings.
啊 Huh?
他們不能那么做 They can't do that!
你不允許那么做 You're not allowed to do that!
不該惹他 Shouldn't have touched him.
滾開 你這小鬼 You scram, you little punk.
我在倫敦警察局有朋友 I've got friends at Scotland Yard.
真想在你胸口捶一拳 I'll give you up in a heartbeat.
你拿到你的表了嗎 You get your watch back?
不用擔心我的表 走吧 Don't worry about my watch. Go on.
那是擊到 It's a knockoff.
你在說什么 What are you talking about?
我叔叔從林肯那偷來的 My uncle stole this watch from President Lincoln.
那是一個無價的傳家寶 It's a priceless family heirloom.
不是從典當商那買回來的 Not according to the pawnbroker.
你不該偷 You should not steal.
如果我不偷我就沒有飯吃 If I don't steal, I don't eat.
誰教你功夫的 Who showed you how to do all that kicking and punching?
我爸爸 My father.
你聽過嗎 父母 Have you ever heard of those? They're parents.
你沒有 因為你是個孤兒 You don't 'cause you're a little orphan.
現在 走開吧 你在影響我們的形象 Now, go on. You're cramping our style.
哦 這個國家真差勁 Oh, this country blows.
你需要個地方住下嗎 You need a place to stay?
進來吧 暖和暖和 Come on in and warm your dogs.
你會惹很多麻煩 You can get into a lot of trouble
闖進個這樣的地方 breaking into a place like this.
做的不錯 That being said, well done.
你剛吃了最后的巧克力 You just ate the last chocolate.
我是吃了 Course I did.
你最好照顧好你自己 You gotta look out for number one.
我以前就是這樣 I could really get used to this.
過著鄉紳的生活 Living the life of a country gentleman.
可能畫些畫 Maybe doing a little painting.
讓玲和孩子們在花園里玩 Let Lin play in the garden with the children.
維拉 查克和大衛 Vera, Chuck, and Dave.
誰是玲 Who's Lin?
玲是我見過女人中最漂亮的一個 Lin's the most beautiful woman I've ever met.
她將是歐班納家的救世主 She's gonna be the savior of the house of O'Bannon.
姜 看看這些線 Chon, check out the threads.
我所缺少的就是 一條忠實的獵犬蜷縮在我腳下 All I'm missing is the loyal hound curled at my feet.
我們在浪費時間 我們必須找到雷斯本 We are wasting time. We must find Rathbone.
你認為我在干什么 What do you think I've been doing?
坐在這喝著昂貴的烈酒 Sitting here drinking expensive hooch?
再來一杯 Refill.
我一直在想這個計劃 I've been working on a plan.
現在 哦 別把白蘭地濺出來 Now Whoa. Don't slosh the brandy.
把花弄亂了 滾開 lt messes with the bouquet. Sod off.
我在試著教你一系列的技巧 I'm trying to teach you a skill set.
幫你離開街道 Help get you off the street.
酒保賺很多錢 羅伊 Bartenders make big bucks. Roy!
計劃 The plan.
謝謝 姜 Thank you, Chon.
如果我們找到玉璽 If we find the seal...
我們可以證明雷斯本殺了你爸爸 we can prove Rathbone killed your dad.
那是古老的萬福瑪利亞游戲 It's the old Hail Mary play.
我還有個想法 我們在哪挖個地道 I also have a version where we dig a tunnel.
嘿 Hey!
該死的彈射器 老天 Bloody catapult. Jesus Christ!
你不需要彈射器 誰問你了 You don't need a catapult! Who asked you?
大人說話小孩別插嘴 You don't interrupt grownups when they're talking.
納爾遜雷斯本大人請了很多人 "Lord Nelson Rathbone requests the pleasure of your company
去女皇即位 at the jubilee ball
50年慶典舞會 in honor of Her Majesty's 50th year on the throne."
聽其來不錯 Sounds good.
那會戒備森嚴 It doesn't address security.
他們不會讓我和姜 They're not gonna let Chon and I
跳著華爾茲進城堡 waltz into the castle.
你所需要的就是化裝 All you need is a proper disguise.
我喜歡好好化個妝 I do like a good disguise.
我看起來象個傻子 I look like a fool.
什么 你是個王公 那是印度皇室 What?! You're a maharaja. That's lndian royalty.
但我是中國人 一樣啦 But I'm Chinese. It's the same thing.
晃晃你的頭 Bob your head a little bit.
讓你看起來更象印度皇族 Gives you more of a lndiaroyalty flavor.
不錯 成績顯著 成績顯著 That's good. Good show, good show.
成績顯著 成績顯著 Good show, good show.
好呀 好呀 好呀 好呀 Cheerio, cheerio. Cheerio, cheerio.
我們見到雷斯本時怎么辦 What do we do when we see Rathbone?
殺了他 Kill him.
不 行嗎 不 No, okay? No!
你要有禮貌 因為我們還沒拿到玉璽 You're gonna be civil, 'cause we don't have the seal.
沒玉璽 沒有玲 沒有家族榮譽 知道了 No seal. No Lin. No family honor. Okay?
冷靜點 好 我們看起來還不錯 Be cool. Okay, we look great.
讓我們享受吧 Let's enjoy this party.
喂 你來干什么 我也進去 Whoa. What are you doing? I'm going inside.
這地方會鬧鬼的 你是馬夫 The place is haunted. You're the harness man.
你回到馬車那 You get back at the carriage.
你等在外面以防萬一 我們能快點逃走 You wait in case we need to make a quick getaway.
繼續 各就各位 Go on. Man your post.
你不能總是得到你想要的東西 You don't always get what you want.
你為什么總是對那個孩子那么差 Why are you so mean to that boy?
我從那孩子身上 找到好多自己的影子 I see a lot of myself in that kid.
會讓我有反常行為 走吧 It's kind of freaking me out. Come on.
請問你的名字 謝謝 Your name, please, sir.
我才可以替您通報 So I can announce you.
謝洛克 豪穆斯 Sherlock...Holmes.
謝洛克豪穆斯 Sherlock Holmes.
您代表哪個省 您的職位 Which province do you represent, Your Highness?
內華達 Nevada.
請允許我引見謝洛克·豪穆斯少將 May I present Major General Sherlock Holmes
和內華達王公殿下 and His Highness, the maharaja of Nevada.
保安安排的怎么樣 How are the security arrangements?
哦 所有的事都很順利 大人 Oh, everything seems to be going swimmingly, my Lord.
如果我可以說 And if I may say so...
今晚很榮幸保衛大人 it is an honor to guard Your Lordship tonight.
我代表倫敦警察局 I speak for all of us at Scotland Yard
向您說不管您離王位多遠 when I say that no matter how far you are from the throne...
在我們心中您永遠都是第一位 you'll always be number one in our hearts.
好 計劃是這樣的 Okay, here's the plan.
我們要找個小個的中國人 We're gonna get a little chow.
然后我們悄悄離開這 Then we're gonna sneak out of here.
開始找玉璽 好 Start looking for that seal. Okay.
葡萄干布丁 先生 什么 Spotted Dick, sir? What?
葡萄干布丁 Spotted Dick.
你能相信這家伙嗎 Can you believe this guy?
我在找東西吃 I'm trying to get something to eat.
他在問我是不是拍手了 He's asking me if I got the clap.
我認為他是給你提供食品 I think he's offering you food.
哦 葡萄干布丁 Oh. Spotted Dick.
哦 不 我想我不用了 Oh, no. I think I'll pass.
我不是個喜歡甜品的人 I'm not really a dessert man.
也許我朋友想要點葡萄干布丁 Perhaps my friend might like some Spotted Dick.
我想嘗嘗那些香腸 I might try one of these sausages.
一個小個的熏腸 A little smoky Joe.
嗯 不錯 Mmm! This is good!
我想這的吃的會很差 I thought the food here was supposed to suck.
羊雜腸是從蘇格蘭運來的 先生 The haggis is fresh from Scotland, sir.
是用最好的羊膀胱做的 It's made from the finest sheeps' bladders.
我要去喝點威士忌然后漱漱口 I'm gonna get some whiskey and wash my mouth out.
你應該試試野豬 You should try the quail.
今天早上我自己打的 I shot them myself this morning.
你好嗎 大人 How do you do, Your Lordship?
很好 謝謝 Very well, thank you.
我對內華達州不是很了解 I'm not acquainted with the Nevada province.
但我從81年后就沒再去過印度 But I haven't been to lndia since '81.
我在東方度過了 我生命中大部份時間 I spent most of my time in the Orient.
我聽說你剛從中國回來 I hear you've just returned from China.
你真是見多識廣 王公 You are wellinformed, maharaja.
我一直夢想中國人 It is my dream that the Chinese people
會以印度為榜樣 而且有一天信奉不列顛的法律 will follow lndia's example and one day embrace British rule.
中國應該感到很驕傲 The Chinese are very proud.
他們把家族和榮譽 They place family and honor above all else.
放得比任何事物都高 Well, I'm sure we can break them of that.
不好意思 我要走開一下 If you'll excuse me, I have a matter to attend to.
直到我們再次見面 Until we meet again.
耐心 我為你感到驕傲 姜 Patience. I'm proud of you, Chon.
我們必須找到玉璽 We must find the seal.
你在看什么 What do you see?
噓 Shh, shh, shh!
他從桌子上拿起一個象龍的鑰匙 He just pulled a fancy dragon key out of his desk.
那是爸爸的 That was my father's!
我必須為爸爸的榮譽復仇 I must avenge his honor.
嘿 慢點 急脾氣 慢點 Hey, slow down, tiger. Slow down.
不要把所有中國人都算在我頭上 Quit going all Chinese on me.
他哪去了 Where is he?
媽的 記著你的難題箱 耐心 Damn it. Remember your puzzle box. Patience.
好吧 沒窗戶 Okay, there are no windows.
我們是從門進了 We just came in through the only doorway.
只有一個解釋 That leaves one explanation.
記得在"羅伊·歐班納對決木乃伊" Remember in "Roy O'Bannon vs. The Mummy"
蛇神是怎樣逃的 how the zombie king got away
當我追他進了法老王的墓時 when I chased him into the pharaoh's tomb?
發現在斯芬克斯后面有條密道 There's a secret passageway behind the sphinx.
這附近應該有個桿或者按鈕之類的 There's gotta be a lever or a button over here.
幫我把這些東西抬起來 Help me lift some stuff up.
羅伊 Roy!
那幅畫 它在看著我 The painting. It's looking at me.
看 哦 是啊 Look! Oh, yeah.
看起來象是在看著我們 不錯 Looks like it's looking at me. That's great.
不 是真眼睛 會動的 No, real eyes. Moving!
你被騙了 不是嗎 That kid got to you, didn't he?
難以置信 我們不是在鬼屋吧 Unbelievable! We're not in a haunted house.
那是藝術家運用的技術 That's a technique that an artist uses.
"普遍存在的凝視"或者"追蹤的眼睛"是技術術語 "Ubiquitous gaze" or "pursuant eyes" is the technical term.
有點不正常 明白了吧 It's unnerving, though. I'll give you that.
羅伊 現在 會動的眼睛 看 Roy. Now, those eyes. Look!
不管你怎么說 姜 Whatever you say, Chon.
讓我們看看你這有什么 雷斯本 Let's see what you got here, Rathbone.
羅伊 Roy!
什么 姜 它們現在在動嗎 What, Chon? Are the statues moving now?
哇 Wow.
嗯 Mmmmm!
羅伊 Roy!
你再沖我喊 我都不知道自己在想什么了 I can't hear myself think with you shouting at me.
姜 Chon?
姜 姜 Chon? Chon?
真實荒謬 This is ridiculous.
如果你想像孩子那樣再玩 If you want to act like a child and play games...
就去找別人 then find someone else...
因為我現在在認真處理這些東西 'cause I take this stuff seriously.
我來這是工作 我有任務 I'm here to work. I'm on a mission.
姜 Chon?
好吧 姜 Okay, Chon.
好吧 你這個中國小賴皮 Okay, you little Chinese otter.
我們來玩玩吧 Let's play.
哈 Ha!
姜 魔鬼 Chon, demons!
她將會為我戰斗 She's gonna fight my battles for me.
快點 我們走吧 Come on. Let's go.
什么 你在干什么 What? What are you doing?
有點古怪 我喜歡 It's kinky. I like it.
哇 看看這個 Wow! Look at this.
等一下 這屋子有點不一樣 Wait. There's something different about this room.
嘿 Hey.
我們走吧 Let's go!
文 姜 感謝老天 Wang! Chon, for God's sakes.
現在他出現了 我找到了 Now he shows up. I found it.
等一下 你想聽一下嗎 Wait. Do you want to hear?
玉璽不見了 The seal's gone.
玲 Lin.
羅伊 Roy!
我們還回來嗎 Are we gonna come back?
羅伊 Roy!
你一定要那么做嗎 Must you keep doing that?
我不能被看見或聽見 I was taught not to be seen or heard.
玉璽 The seal.
我是個遵守諾言的人 I am a man of my word.
我記得看我哥哥擺弄這個的時候 I remember watching my brother play with this
象個嬰兒喋喋不休 like a baby rattle.
當我想碰它的時候 太后就打我 When I'd try to touch it, the dowager empress beat me.
毋庸質疑 你有個可憐的童年 No doubt your deprived childhood
使你變成今天這個樣子 made you into the man you are today.
烏超 Wu Chow.
烏什么 Wu who?
他是皇帝的私生子弟弟 He is the emperor's bastard brother.
從紫禁城驅逐出去 He was banished from the Forbidden City
因為想偷玉璽 for trying to steal the lmperial Seal.
我們的爸爸抓住他的 Our father caught him.
他發誓要回去繼承王位 He vowed to return to claim the emperor's throne.
那小子 This guy?
一切都在按計劃進行 I'll assume everything has been arranged as discussed.
沒什么好擔心的 一切進行得很順利 You have nothing to worry about. It's all in place.
那個鉆石有猴子爪那么大 That diamond is as big as a damn monkey's paw.
看那 羅伊 Look at that. Roy.
別打它的主意 Don't even think about it.
我只是羨慕那技術 姜 I'm just admiring the craftsmanship, Chon.
到目前為止 我們的交易結束了 So for now, our business is completed.
玲哪去了 Where's Lin?!
嘿 嘿 Hey! Hey!
抓到你了 Gotcha!
只是替你保管一下 Just looking out for number one.
不 No!
那孩子拿了玉璽 The kid got the seal!
姜 Chon!
糟了 It's stuck.
玲 Lin!
快點 你能做到 Go! You can do it!
她做到了 She's got it.
她做到了 She's got it!
羅伊 快點 Roy! Come on!
姜 我們倆認識那么久了 Chon, what in our history together
你怎么認為我能做到 makes you think I'm capable of something like that?
羅伊 我辦不到 Roy! I can't do that!
快點 Hurry up!
等一下 Wait.
有個更好的辦法 There's a better way.
減速 Slow down!
我要死啦 I'm a bat out of hell!
耶 喔 Yeehaw!
另外 我不知道剎車在哪 Besides, I don't know where the brake is.
什么 What?!
小心 Look out!
現在怎么辦 兄弟 So, what now, buddy?
放松 放松 從這開始滑行 Relax, relax. Smooth sailing from here.
是了 這兩個人就是攻擊我的人 Yes, these are the men who attacked me.
恐怕這些攻擊者已經 暫時開始躲避我們了 大人 I'm afraid the assailants have temporarily eluded us, my Lord.
或許你應該解釋給我聽 Perhaps you could explain to me
瘋子玲是怎樣 how Loony Lin managed to escape
從有全世界最值得尊敬警察看守的 from the confines of Scotland Yard under the watch
倫敦警察局越獄的 of the most respected police force in the world.
是的 的確 是很令人費解 Yes, of course. It's absolutely fascinating.
她用一副相當 She picked the lock
淫穢的撲克牌撬開了鎖 using a deck of rather risqué playing cards.
然后利用一個拖把和一個叉子 Then scaled the walls
還有各種各樣偷盜用的緊身衣 with a mop, a fork...
爬過了圍墻 and various pilfered undergarments.
你們要把她移交中國政府 You've got to hand it to the Chinese.
他們非常蠢 大人 對嗎 They're awfully ingenious, Lord, aren't they?
你的無知知道什么 Does your incompetence know no bounds?!
我在哪 Where am l?
玲 Lin!
我甚至不認識這些女人 I don't even know these women.
玲 你在這干什么 Lin, what are you doing here?
哦 主啊 Oh, Lord.
你想試試37頁上的那毒藥嗎 Do you want to try the position on page 37?
過來 我的小蕩婦 Come here, you little minx.
什么 What?
你沒事吧 不 我沒事 You okay? No, I'm not okay.
我剛剛被牧場的動物強暴過 I've just been violated by a barnyard animal.
誰會在這空地中央堆一堆石頭 Who would leave a pile of stones in the middle of the field?
我不知道 姜 這些人很怪 I don't know, Chon. These people are nuts.
行了 Come on.
我能告訴你些事嗎 什么 Can I tell you something? What?
這是一次該死的冒險 This is a hell of a damn adventure we're on.
我跟你在一起很開心 I'm having an absolute ball with you.
我也是 Me too.
來了 Here we go.
把你的拇指伸出來 王公 Get your thumb out, maharaja.
為什么 過這邊來 Why? Get over here.
勞駕 Excuse me!
玲 玲 Lin! Lin!
我的肩膀有點緊繃繃的 My shoulder's getting a little tight.
這是你第一次來英國 不是嗎 This is your first time in England, isn't it?
你怎么知道這附近的路的 難以置信 How do you know your way around? It's incredible.
我向來方向感都很強 I always had a good sense of direction.
你可以再說一次 You can say that again.
我希望我們能一起說你了解誰 I wish we could say the same about you know who.
一但把他送到山上 I once sent him over a mountain range.
他就永遠迷路 He was lost forever.
有一次 我把他送到長城 One time, I sent him over the Great Wall.
他迷路迷了3天 3天 He was lost for three days. Three days?!
哦 天哪 我們有這么多共同點 Oh, gosh, we got a lot in common.
我從沒遇到象你這樣的人 羅伊 I've never met anybody like you, Roy.
真的 是 Really? Yeah.
嘿 在你不高興之前 我能告訴你件事嗎 Hey, can I tell you something without you getting offended?
什么 What?
你的身材很好 You have a great body.
我說是因為從外表就可以看的出 There. I said it. It's out in the open.
你必須解決 我 You must work out. Me?
對不起 Excuse me.
姜 你在干什么 Chon, what are you doing?
我不喜歡坐在后面 I don't like the backseat.
讓我感到惡心 眩暈 Makes me sick. Dizzy.
白色小教堂 Whitechapel.
這看起來象是個好鄰居 This looks like a nice enough neighborhood.
小貓和靴子是什么 是個寄宿公寓 What is Puss 'n' Boots? It's a boardinghouse.
一些船上的水手極力推薦的 Some of the sailors on the ship coming over recommended it.
快點 快點 Come on. Come on!
我不會讓我妹妹住這兒 I won't let my sister stay here.
那我們要怎么辦 到薩瓦去嗎 What are we supposed to do? Check in to the Savoy?
我們會在進房間前被拘捕 We'll get arrested before we get to our room.
我不介意這個地方 I don't mind this place.
瞧 她還是有點開放的 See? She's a little openminded.
我知道這聽起來很荒謬 因為我剛認識她 I know this sounds crazy 'cause I just met her...
我想我愛上她了 but I think I'm falling for her.
我想她就是我要的那個人 I think she's the one.
羅伊 他是我妹妹 Roy, she's my baby sister.
我知道她是 謝謝上帝 I know she is. Thank God!
這是我得到的唯一機會 That's the only chance I've got.
我已經準備好了要開始行動 I'm getting ready to launch a little thing
叫做 "行動 讓她倒在我懷里" called "Operation: Sweep Her Off Her Feet."
你要在她面前幫我說好話 You're in a position to talk me up.
我能靠你嗎 Can I count on you?
拜托 我從沒向你要求過什么 Please, buddy, I've never asked you for anything.
當然 羅伊 我會告訴她實話 Sure, Roy. I'll tell her the truth.
先把事實拖一拖 Don't get hung up on the truth.
幫你的老友修修毛邊 Feel free to smooth out your old pal's rough edges.
我愛你 兄弟 I love you, buddy.
玲 過來 Lin. Come.
坐下 Sit.
你好 親愛的 Hello, love.
要過夜嗎 Fancy a tumble?
噢 兩天前你在哪 Oh! Where were you two days ago?
我可能馬上就會和你做 I would have bedded you in a second.
現在你在找一個已經改變了的男人 Now you're looking at a changed man.
我可以說為一個特殊的人保留著 I'm sort of saving myself for someone special.
我會給你打折 I'll give you a discount.
那是所有女人對我說的最浪漫的事 That's the most romantic thing any woman's ever said to me.
你最好離開這 You better go.
你最好在我們失控前離開這 走 You better go before we lose control. Go!
如果你改變了主意 If you change your mind...
羅伊 Roy!
我們的長輩會給你找適合你的男人 Our father would talk about the right man for you.
他必須要強壯 勇敢 He must be strong, courageous...
而且還要是個好爸爸 and a good father.
象羅伊那樣 行了 姜 Like Roy. We got her, Chon.
不是象羅伊那樣的 Not like Roy.
你不象我了解他 You don't know him like I do.
他有很多壞習慣 He has many bad habits.
例如 Such as?
抽煙 喝酒 還有賭博 He drinks, smokes, and he gambles.
姜 你這是在干什么 Chon, where are you going with this?
他為了錢而和女人睡覺 He sleeps with women for money.
你在 What are you
羅伊不會那么做 我可看到他在想什么 Roy don't do that. I can see inside him.
他心腸很好 He has a good heart.
對了 That's right.
他的三文魚不逆流而游 His salmon don't swim upstream.
他對牛彈琴 He shoots blanks.
玲 他不值得信任 Lin, he cannot be trusted.
你怎么能那么說 他是你的朋友 How could you say that? You're his friend.
是 差不多 Yeah, sort of.
羅伊是那種 Roy is the type of a friend
你最好別把他介紹給你其他的朋友 you'd never introduce to your other friends
或者把他帶回家見家人 or bring home to your family.
他從來不說實話 你知道我管他叫什么 He never speak the truth. You know what I call him?
不是羅伊·歐班納 羅伊·歐胡扯 Not Roy O'Bannon. Roy O'Baloney.
我不在乎 I don't care.
玲 我不許 Lin, I forbid it.
你不是我爸爸 You are not my father.
羅伊 你在這啊 Roy, there you are.
嗨 嗯 Hi. Mmhmm.
你需要什么 兄弟 You need anything, buddy?
一大堆"別煩我" A whole lot of "leave me alone."
怎么了 What's wrong?
沒什么 Nothing.
我從床的另一邊醒來 I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
我覺得后背有點疼 好像有人在那扎了一刀 I feel a little pain in my back like someone put a knife there.
我沒事 I'm okay.
不用替我擔心 Don't worry about me.
羅伊 Roy!
噠噠 T ada!
那實際上讓我想起了一個詭計 That actually reminds me of a trick.
你從沒見過這個 You ever seen this one?!
還有這個 Or this one?!
你以為你的功夫很酷 You think you're so cool with your karate
還有你那象小孩似的反映 and your childlike reflexes.
羅伊 你沒事吧 Roy, you okay?
看看你 Look at you.
你真的叫我羅伊·歐胡扯 Do you really call me Roy Baloney?
羅伊 你不明白 Roy, you don't understand.
你剛剛砸碎了我的難題箱 You just smashed my puzzle box.
我永遠不會知道我的消息是什么 I'll never figure out my message.
羅伊 走開 Roy... Go.
我對你已經沒有任何感覺了 You're dead to me.
我不認識姜文 I don't know a Chon Wang.
什么 What?
嗨 羅伊 Hi, Roy.
誰愛你 寶貝 Who loves you, baby?
干得不錯 姜 羅伊 Nice try, Chon. Roy...
對不起 I'm sorry.
你再那么做一次 你就死定了 You do that again, and you're a dead man.
枕頭戰 Pillow fight!
我是羅伊·歐胡扯 I am Roy Baloney!
對 Yes!
我好高興 I'm full of it!
沒錯 You are!
羅伊 Roy?
玲 Lin!
這是他的主意 It was his idea.
姜 衣服 Chon! Clothes!
是散步的好天氣 Nice night for a walk.
玲 Lin!
玲 你在這啊 Lin! There you are!
你在干什么 What are you doing?
你不知道這有很多連環殺手嗎 Don't you know there's a serial killer on the loose?
別提了 Forget it.
這些人是什么人 Who the hell are these guys?
刺客 Boxers.
他們想從我們這得到什么 What do they want with us?
他們是我的人 They're with me.
我想我們應該談談 I think we need to have a little chat.
姜文 Chon Wang
可以與皇帝對抗的人 the man who can fight an emperor.
一個皇帝從來不應該有 他自己的葬禮刀 The emperor should never have his burial knife.
我明白了 I see.
你仍然是我哥哥的走狗 You're still my brother's lapdog.
我來這不是為了他 I'm here not for him.
我來這為了我爸爸 I'm here for my father.
當然 Of course you are.
是我用匕首插進他的心臟 It was my dagger that plunged into his heart.
沾了他的血 匕首也銹了 It's still crusted with his blood.
我知道玉璽在那小孩身上 I know the boy has the seal.
他在哪 Where is he?
我們不知道 We don't know.
那是事實我們不知道 That's the truth we don't know.
嗯 Mmm...
你要 你要干什么 What are you What are you doing?
住手 把她放下來 Stop! Put her down!
把她放下來 把她放下來 Put her down! Put her down!
不然怎么樣 歐班納先生 Or what, Mr. O'Bannon?
你要踢我 Are you gonna kick my ass?
我看了你所有的自編的荒謬的故事 I've read all about your ridiculous exploits.
我是說 只是 I mean, just...
你赤手空拳殺死木乃伊的感覺如何 how does it feel to kill a mummy with your bare hands?
只有那些無知的鄉下人 Only a nation of uneducated rednecks
才會對這種西部牛仔的鬼話趕興趣 would be amused by such cowboy drivel.
噢 噢 噢 放松 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy.
怎么要對我人身攻擊 What's with the personal attacks?
你沒看我的注解 You don't see me making any comments
關于你蒼白的面色 還有你那下賤的口音 about your pasty complexion or your snotty accent
還有你的污穢發霉的色情小說 or even your filthy, smutty sex books.
對 我看了你的書 令我作嘔 Yeah, I saw your book. It disgusted me.
哦 你的人為什么老是打頭 Oh, why is it always the head with you people?!
住手 停下 住手 Hold it! Stop! Hold it!
就停一下 Just hold it!
我們在這干什么 看這個 What are we doing here? Guys, look at this.
象野獸一樣 要怎么樣 We're acting like animals... over what?
要玉璽 Some seal?
玉璽代表了皇帝的權力 The seal represents imperial power.
我要用他來聯合皇帝的敵人 I will use it to unite the emperor's enemies
圍攻紫禁城 and storm the Forbidden City.
那你想要什么 What's in it for you?
你看到的是未來的英國國王 You're looking at the future king of England.
你排在繼承君主寶座的第20位 You're, like, 20th in line to the throne.
第10位 10th.
但是我的朋友馬上就要把這改寫 But my friend is about to change all that
簡單的 消滅過程 by simple... process of elimination.
這個叫機關槍 It's called a machine gun.
一分鐘可以射出200發子彈 The first of its kind it fires 200 rounds a minute.
大不列顛的遺囑 Testament to British ingenuity.
哦 是你偷了玉璽 Oh, so you steal the seal,
然后再殺9個皇室成員 and then you knock off nine royals?
你得到的好處不多 朋友 You got the short end of that stick, my friend.
把他們扔到河里 Dump them in the river.
你們要把她帶到哪 Where are you taking her?
去創造歷史 To make history.
我已經能看到頭條新聞 I can already see the headlines
"全國為瘋子玲殘殺皇室默哀" "Nation mourns as Loony Lin massacres royal family."
我要你確保你能找到玉璽 I need your assurance that you will find the seal.
不要涉及到你自己 Don't concern yourself.
我的人在城里搜 My men are scouring the city.
你最好祈禱他們能找到 不然我們的合作就會終止 You better pray they find it... or our agreement is over,
而你也永遠得不到皇冠 and you will never get the crown.
姜 我有點事要向你坦白 Chon, I got a confession to make.
你愛上我妹妹了 You are in love with my sister.
那個 但是 Well, that, but...
我沒在那個股票上輸掉所有的錢 I didn't lose all the money on the zeppelins.
沒有 No?
沒有 我用了大部份的錢出版我的小說了 Nah. I blew most of it on the Roy O'Bannon novels.
我寫的 I wrote them.
不 塞奇麥考利斯特寫的 No, Sage McCallister wrote them.
那正是我要說的 兄弟 我就是塞奇·麥考利斯特 That's what I'm saying, buddy. I'm Sage McCallister.
你寫的那些謊話 You wrote those lies?!
我一直都很自卑 I've always had low selfesteem.
你印了多少本 How many books did you print?
我私人出版大概100萬份 I selfpublished probably a million copies.
那年我們只比《圣經》少了點 We were actually second to the Bible that year.
哦 你 Oh, you
我猜我是能找到的 I guess I'm just about the worst friend
最壞的朋友了 a guy could ask for.
不 你是我的好朋友 No, you're a good friend.
謝謝 Thank you.
如果你真愛玲 我不會再阻止你們了 If you really love Lin, I won't stand in the way.
真的 Really?
但是 如果你傷了她的心 我會打斷你的腿 But if you break her heart... I'll break your legs.
很公平 That's fair.
永遠的朋友 姜 Well, friends to the end, Chon...
時辰到了 and this is the end.
姜 有什么計劃嗎 Chon, you got a plan?
你不是這么巧有個計劃吧 是嗎 You wouldn't happen to have a plan, would you?
是 Yes.
我能做什么 沒有 Anything I can do? No.
那我會讓你舉重 Good. I'll let you do the heavy lifting, then.
姜 快點 Chon, hurry.
姜 Chon!
姜 姜 快點 Chon! Chon, hurry!
快 Hurry!
快 姜 快 Hurry! Chon, hurry!
羅伊 Roy!
來啦 Coming!
姜 Chon!
噢 Oh!
水真臟 The water's so dirty!
不 不 水很臟 不 No! No! It's dirty! No!
你走吧 淹死我吧 我不在乎了 Just go ahead and drown me. I don't care anymore.
羅伊 Roy!
你看起來很好笑 You look ridiculous.
我認為我們看起來還行 I think we look good.
我真的必須要阻止這件事的發生 I really must protest this intrusion.
倫敦的所有人都在搜查街道 Every bobby in London is out scouring the streets
就為了你們倆 for you two.
你喝酒了嗎 Have you been drinking?
我失業的時候總是喝酒 I always drink when my employment's been terminated.
他們解雇你了 They fired you?
雷斯本大人這么說 Lord Rathbone saw to that.
對不起 I'm sorry.
這不合邏輯 It's of no consequence.
我從沒想過在一線上當探長 I never wanted to be an inspector in the first place.
是我爸爸的主意 It was my father's idea.
我一直想當作家 I always wanted to be a writer.
是啊 Yeah.
阿蒂 我們需要你幫忙 Artie, we need your help.
雷斯本抓了玲 Rathbone has taken Lin.
他要去殺皇室成員 He's gonna kill the royal family
他要篡奪皇位 and he's gonna assume the throne.
你有什么證據 Do you have any evidence
來支持這些無聊的斷言 to support these preposterous allegations?
我們有這個 那個孩子 We have this. It's the boy's.
用你的技巧 告訴我們他在哪 Use your technique. Tell us where he is.
石蠟 很有趣 Paraffin wax most interesting.
他在教堂 He's at a church.
那個小鬼藏在教堂里 The little punk's hiding in a church.
不 不 不 No, no, no.
那不是燭蠟 It's not candle wax.
我知道了 I have it.
不用擔心 你會找到它的 你們在干什么 Don't worry. You'll get it. What are you doing?
他在撬鎖 那好 快點 He's picking the lock. Well, hurry up!
姜 拜托 拜托 這是一個要非常小心翼翼的工作 Chon, please! Please. It's a very meticulous process.
讓阿蒂做他的工作 這幾乎就是藝術 Let Artie do his job. It's almost an art form.
必須要有外科醫生的精確度 It takes the precision of a surgeon.
你必須要很精確的 You have to be so precise.
可能我們把那邊的那個堵上了 Maybe if we jam another one in there.
這也行啊 That works, too.
缺少一個可靠的策略 Lacks a certain finesse.
好吧 好吧 讓我們把它分開 All right, all right. Let's split up.
是 What the...
我要擰斷你的脖子 I am gonna break your neck.
過來 Come here.
看看這 Looky here.
快點 在哪呢 什么 Come on, where is it? What?
你知道我在說什么 You know what I'm talking about.
我不要再聽見"什么" Don't give me that "what."
這是什么 What do we got here?
哦 是的 Oh, yes.
你不介意我把這個拿回去吧 不是嗎 You don't mind if I take this back, do you?
繼續 滾出去 Go on. Get out of here.
滾 Go!
羅伊 Roy?
我找到了 I got it.
把玉璽給我 Give me the seal.
把玉璽給我 Give me the seal!
好啦 打開看看 All right, spread out!
從那過去 Through there!
我們走吧 Let's go.
被包圍了 The gig's up.
我們要怎么辦 So, what are we gonna do?
快點 想辦法 Come on, think!
我不是英國罪犯 I'm not going to an English prison.
我一頭金發 姜的運動造形 With my feathery blond hair and Chon's athletic build,
我們肯定會被玩爆 they'll try to make us the belle of the ball.
算了吧 我不要回去 Forget it. I'm not going back.
至少 我們有個好地方看煙花 Well, at least we'll get a good view of the fireworks
倫敦警察局 from Scotland Yard.
煙花 是的 Fireworks? Yeah.
午夜 他們會用一個小型艦隊 At midnight, they're launching this huge display
在泰晤士河放 from a flotilla of barges on the Thames.
那是女皇50年慶典的開幕 It's the official kickoff to the Queen's Jubilee.
皇室也會去那嗎 Is the royal family gonna be there?
他們會在展覽館的陽臺看 They're gonna be viewing the spectacle from a balcony
可以看到整條河 overlooking the river.
他在游艇上裝了機關槍 He's got a machine gun on the barge.
是的 Yes.
你們瘋了嗎 You gents lost your way?
小子 告訴我你有辦法出去 Kid, tell me you got a way out.
小子 干的不錯 Nice move, kid.
你為什么回來了 So why did you come back?
你為什么放棄玉璽 Why did you give up the seal?
因為我是個傻瓜 'Cause I'm a fool.
我想我也是個傻瓜 Guess I'm a fool, too.
那把她給我吧 傻瓜 Well, put her there, fool.
我從沒記住你叫什么名字 I never got your name.
查理 Name's Chaplin...
查理·卓別林 Charlie Chaplin.
對不起 對不起 Excuse me. Excuse me.
麻煩你 勞駕 Excuse me, please!
對不起 對不起 Excuse me. Excuse me.
你去通知皇室 You warn the royal family.
我去救玲 I'll save Lin.
你究竟怎么能做到 How on earth are you gonna do that?
你還好嗎 You okay?
我剛剛救了你 I just saved you!
你太晚了 You were late!
什么 What?!
納爾遜 Nelson?
你為什么要藏在后面 Why are you hiding yourself back there?
我不能阻擋你看煙花 陛下 I shouldn't like to impede your view, Your Highness.
廢話 你安排了這所有 Nonsense. You arranged all this.
你應該到前排看 You should have a frontrow view.
很遺憾 出于尊敬 我不能接受 I regret that, uh, respectfully I must decline.
我要好好盯著進程 I need to keep a good eye on proceedings.
噢 Whoo!
納爾遜 你已經超越了你自己 Nelson, you've outdone yourself.
嘿 Hey!
噢 Oh!
沒有希望了 This is hopeless.
我們沒有辦法繞過衛兵 We're not gonna get past the guards.
一直有那種想法我們就不行 Well, not with that attitude we won't.
來吧 阿蒂 一定有辦法的 Come on, Artie. There's got to be a way.
總是 There's always
玲 Lin!
駕 Yeehaw! Yeah!
耶 駕 Yeehaw!
我們要跳了 We got to jump it!
烏超 Wu Chow!
站在那別動 雷斯本 Hold it right there, Rathboner.
我猜你要匆忙撤退 I'm guessing by your hasty retreat
不過你還是排在第20位 that you're still 20th in line for the throne.
第10位 10th.
柯南道爾偵探 把這個人抓起來 Inspector Doyle, arrest this man.
他有槍 He's got a gun!
噢 Oh!
快點 Come on!
哦 你還好嗎 Oh! You okay?
發生什么事了 What happened?
雷斯本用把女人用的槍打傷了他 Rathbone nailed Artie with a little sissy gun.
我照顧他 你們倆繼續追 I'll look after him. You two go.
走 Go!
為了爸爸 For Father.
為了老人家 文 For Old Man Wang.
哦 我的幸運撲克牌 Oh, my lucky playing cards.
小心點 Be careful.
告訴雷斯本小心點 Tell Rathbone to be careful.
羅伊 我們走 Roy, let's go.
你需要把大點的槍 You're gonna need a bigger gun!
你看見他了 You see him?
沒有 No.
出來吧 雷斯本 Show your face, Rathbone!
我要把這個家伙碎尸萬段 I'm gonna tear this guy apart.
羅伊 你走這邊 我走那邊 Roy, you go this way. I'll go that way.
分開 我不知道是不是個好主意 Split up? I don't know if that's a good idea.
沒問題 It's okay.
他不在上面 He's not up here.
羅伊 繼續 Roy, keep going.
噢 快點羅伊 Aw, come on, Roy.
嘿 雷斯本 Hey, uh, Rathbone...
我正在想個好書名給我的新書 I was just thinking of a title for my new book...
"羅伊·歐班納對決娘娘腔君主" "Roy O'Bannon vs. Little Lord Sissy."
叫"羅伊·歐班納對決 想當女皇的男人"怎么樣 But what about "Roy O'Bannon vs. The Man Who Would Be Queen"?
沒見他的影子 姜 No sign of him, Chon.
海岸已經查過了 The coast is clear up here.
羅伊 小心 Roy! Look out!
羅伊 Roy!
哦 Oops.
爬上來啊 Come on up.
我要你看看你爸爸是怎么死的 I'll show you how your father died.
上帝 幫幫我 Lord, help me.
就讓我知道你在那 愛我 恨我 Just let me know you're there. Love me. Hate me.
但是讓我知道 你就在上面 But let me know you're up there!
嘿 從這可以看到我們住的賓館 Hey, I can see our hotel from here.
喔 Wow.
繼續啊 Come along.
我在等著呢 I'm waiting.
快點 羅伊 好嗎 Come on, Roy. Okay.
羅伊·歐班納不會平平靜靜的離開 Roy O'Bannon will not go quietly.
你聽到了 英格蘭 You hear that, England?!
你想從我這得到什么都行 Throw whatever you want at me
糟糕的天氣 你們這些殺手 your terrible weather, your perverted killers,
葡萄干布丁 your Spotted Dick!
羅伊 你快死了 Roy, you're about to die.
你在分針上 You're on the minute hand of a clock.
我的生命在我眼前閃過 My life is flashing before my eyes.
等一下 我不記得她了嗎 Wait a minute. I don't remember her.
再來一次 One more.
哦 Oh!
真失望 How disappointing.
再來一次 One more.
你殺了我朋友 You killed my friend.
你殺了我爸爸 You killed my father!
羅伊 Roy!
我以為你死了 哦 I thought you were dead! Oh!
你認為那些喝茶的精神病 You think some teadrinking psycho
能殺我羅伊·歐班納 can take out Roy O'Bannon?
哇 Whoa.
慢點 牛仔 Easy there, cowboy.
啊 Huh?
有什么想法 You got any ideas?
啊 Huh?
我們跳 跳 We jump! Jump?!
你是說掉下去 You mean fall?!
瞄準那面旗 Aim for the flag!
哦 媽的 Aw, shit.
我要告訴你件事 I got to tell you something.
什么 What?
你是我交的最好的伙伴 You're the best sidekick I could ever ask for.
謝謝你 羅伊 我也是這么想你的 Thank you, Roy. I feel the same about you.
數到3 On three.
1 One...
2 Two...
3 3 Three! Three!
羅伊 羅伊 Roy. Roy!
你好 Howdy.
對于突出的膽色的賞識 In recognition of outstanding bravery,
我授于姜文爵士稱號 I dub you Sir Chon Wang.
對于不凡的英勇 For uncommon valor,
我授于羅伊·歐班納爵士稱號 I dub you Sir Roy O'Bannon.
對于正義的堅定貢獻 And for steadfast dedication to justice,
我授于柯南·道爾爵士稱號 I dub you Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
阿蒂 Arise.
誰愛你 寶貝 Who loves you, baby?
夫人 Madam.
阿蒂 我打賭倫敦警察局 現在肯定非常渴望你回去 Artie, I bet Scotland Yard's dying to get you back now.
我打擊犯罪的日子已經結束了 My official crimefighting days are over.
女皇要求我 The queen has asked me
護送玉璽回中國 to accompany the lmperial Seal back to China.
這一周啊 難以置信 What a week. Unbelievable.
她沒有更好人選了 對嗎 姜 She couldn't have picked a better man, right, Chon?
是的 Yeah.
航程中我就有時間寫我的新小說了 And the voyage is gonna give me time to work on my new novel.
他展示了一個新的偵探 It features a new kind of detective,
他將用推理學來解決一切犯罪 and he's gonna solve crimes using deductive reasoning.
給我個名字 他叫什么名字 Give me a name. What's his name?
事實上 羅伊 我很希望 Actually, Roy, I was rather hoping
叫他謝洛克·豪穆斯 如果你不介意 to call him Sherlock Holmes, if that's all right with you.
如果你不用就侮辱我了 I'd be insulted if you didn't use it.
噠 再見 阿蒂 Ta. See you, Artie.
羅伊 你表現的很好 That was very nice of you, Roy.
如果它好的話我會自己留著 I would've kept the name if I thought it was any good.
對偵探來說那是個恐怖的名字 It's a horrible name for a detective
謝洛克·豪穆斯 豪穆斯 Sherlock Holmes. Holmes?
你能不能不再玩那個 我要把它捏碎 Will you stop playing with that? I'm gonna smash it.
我只是想看一眼 I just want to see it for a second.
就讓我看看吧 不行 你會把它打爛的 Just let me see it. No, you're gonna break it.
那只不過是塊石頭 上面有點字罷了 It's just a rock with some gibberish on it.
那是漢語 That's Chinese.
家是永遠的 我的兒子 "Family is forever, my son.
我為你自己扔的石頭而自豪 I'm proud you cast your own stone."
喔 Wow.
那是個好消息 That's a good message.
我想扔塊我自己的石頭 姜 I'd like to cast my own stone, Chon.
嗨 嗨 Hi. Hi.
我告訴你 歐班納式的房子一定成功 I told you the house of O'Bannon will prevail.
姜 我有個生意建議給你 Chon, I got a business proposition for you.
不要再買飛艇股票了 No more zeppelins.
不 不 這個比飛艇好得多 No, no, this is much better than zeppelins
是在加州的一個新興事物 a new thing they're starting out in California
他們叫它會動的畫 called moving pictures.
免談 Pass.
慢點 慢點 聽我說完 Hold it. Hold it. Hear me out.
我真的認為電影可以發揮你的強項 I really think these movies could play to your strength.
沒有聲音 There's no sound,
所以我們不需要擔心語言問題 so we don't have to worry about the language problem.
而且我認為 功夫片的潛力很大 And I think the kung fu stuff could be huge.
人們渴望看到動作片 People are dying for a good action picture.
你怎么看 What do you think?
姜文 電影明星 Chon Wang, movie star?
有干頭 It could work.
我覺得 開發那個卓別林小孩不怎么樣 I feel bad about ditching that Chaplin kid,
但是 我要在好萊塢開間片廠 but we're gonna be running and gunning in Hollywood,
他只是緊跟我的風格 and he'd just cramp our style.
困難的城市 It's such a tough town.
"野蠻的觀光客" Bloody tourists!
開始 Action!
你一定要說"卡" You have to say "cut."
你就在那看 You just keep looking!
過來 你這小蕩婦 Come here, you little minx.
卡 Cut.
不錯 That was good.
真的不錯 嗯 That was a good one, huh?
也許我應該舔你 你說呢 Maybe on this one I should lick you...you think?
你舔完我之后 應該不錯 Like, after you lick me that could be kind of good.
嗯 杰克 And, Jackie...
杰克 Jackie?
謝謝 嗨 歐文 Thank you. Hi, Owen.
你好嗎 Hello. How are you?
好 我不是羅伊·歐班納 Okay, and I'm not Roy O'Bannon.
你是誰 Who are you?
媽的 姜 我知道她才是我想要的 Damn it, Chon, I think she's the one.
我知道有點瘋狂 我們才剛認識 但是她就是我想要的 I know it's crazy. We just met, but she's the one.
不 羅伊 她是我保姆 No, Roy, she's my babysitter.
你的孩子 Your babys
什么 What?
孩子什么 Baby what?
妹妹 Baby sister.
妹妹 Baby sister?
不是保姆 是妹妹 Not babysitter. Baby sister.
你沒事吧 You okay?
開始 Action!
發生什么事了 What happened?
羅伊是那種不能介紹 Roy is the type of a friend you never introduce
給你其他的朋友或者帶回家 見你家人的那種朋友 to your other friends or bring into your family.
他是 看他的眼睛 棕色的 全是狗屁 He's Look at his eyes. They're brown full of shit.
總是 Always...
老是在說廢話 Just bullshit all the time.
是啊 你聽說過嗎 Yeah, have you ever heard of those?
他們是父母 我們有父母愛我們 They're parents. We have parents that love us.
你沒有 因為你是個小孤兒 You don't, 'cause you're a little orphan.
你不是 我們有 對 父母 You don't We've got par Yeah, parents.
你聽說過那些嗎 我們有父母愛我們 Have you ever heard of those? We've got parents that love us.
但是你沒有 因為你是個小孤兒 But you don't, 'cause you're a little orphan.
哦 繼續 Oh, go on.
真有意思 So mean.
姜文 電影明星 Chon Wang, movie star?
有干頭 It could work.
有干頭 你可以做你自己的絕活 It could work. You could do your own stunts.
什么 我的絕活 What? My own stunts?
喔 Ow!
喔 喔 Whoa! Whoa!
待在這給新來的長官做匹好馬 Stay here and be a good horsey for the new sheriff.
噢 Ouch! Oh!
哦 很疼啊 Ow. That hurt.
喔 哦 Ow! Ooh!
喔 Ow!
喔 Oh!
你應該抓住我的 You're supposed to catch me!
羅伊接著 Roy, catch.
天啊 是我的錯 Jesus. That's my fault.
等一下 Wait a second.
這個螺母會殺死街道里的女人 This nut is killing your street women?
誰啊 Who did that?
成龍 Jackie Chan.
我 Me?
沒錯 That's right.
那是 第一次 That was the... First time.
這個是最好的 對不起 The best take. I'm sorry.
快點 Hurry up!
你瘋了嗎 我不能那么做 Are you crazy?! I can't do that!
這不是中國城 我不能在空氣里輕快地走 This isn't Chinatown! I can't sail through the air!
我要把我脖子弄斷啦 羅伊 I'm not gonna break my neck! Roy!
我們倆在一起那么久 What in our history together
怎會讓你認為我有能力做那些事 makes you think I'm capable of something like that?
它越來越大了 It's getting bigger!
那是個好辦法 There's got to be a better way.
羅伊 Roy!
我屁股著火啦 My ass is on fire.